On ÜBERnoise Muzak

One of my favorite things to do when I get really tired during finals week is to create what I like to call ÜBERnoise Muzak. ÜBERnoise Muzak can be best thought of as crack for the ears. It's not good, and it can't be good for you, but it will get your brain percolating.

Interested? My guess is most of you will say no. However, for anyone who wants to have the ultimate noise music experience, here's what you do.

You really only need two things:
1) Noise music
2) Other music

Noise music, as I define it, is music that pretty much sucks, but is loud and uptempo. One great option to obtain noise music (since I assume most of you don't have much on your iPods) for projects like these is through internet radio (I recommend HappyHardcore.com). Good noise music pretty much includes all intense techno-shit or faggy-electro-pop-shit groups like Death from Above 1979 or hellogoodbye.

As for your other-music, that's totally up to you. I often like throwing in songs/groups that have similar uptempo beats, like irish fiddle/bagpipe jigs and bluegrass fiddle/banjo tunes. I bet that Arctic Monkeys, Bloc Party, or pretty much any of the bands that Sammy listens to would work well too. You'll want to play your other-music in a separate music player on the same computer.

Now for the grand finale:
ÜBERnoise Muzak = noise music + other music

Play em both. If the beats aren't synching up, you're not tired enough. If you'd swear on your penis that the songs actually are one song, you're probably too tired to do anymore work. But seriously, the tempos usually do align at least to some extent, and then its pretty awesome. Nothing like crazy yelling with a bagpipe solo in the background.

Note to beginners: do not attempt to combine two noise musics; it creates a SÜPER-ÜBER-TM-CL-SOB-noise-Muzak that is too powerful for the inexperienced. Remember the Nazi's heads as they opened the ark? Yeah... it'd be kind of like that, work up your tolerance.