WoW Lingo

A few things right off the bat:
When she asks for help he asks for Death Knights?
He says "pwn-zor"???
And I refuse to believe that guy is ranked top ten in anything. What a total complete chad.

Read it on Kotaku here.

HCC: Magazines That Suck

I recently picked up a magazine at Barnes and Noble after not finding anything else I wanted to buy. The magazine, Men's Health, is similar to one I used to get when I was younger and hulkier but stopped my subscription after realizing that the editor-in-chief was Joe Wieder (who incidentally also owned Wieder Global Nutrition, etc.) and that the magazine was primarily used to plug is products. Anyway, I decided to get this for a quick, easy read that might also keep my motivation up while working out. Well, it was quick and easy. I swear, this magazine has 2 or 3 pages of add per page of large, bold type and pictures.

But what's more is that the organization is terrible. It throws little snippets of information without really tying into the larger picture. For example, on page 24, the magazine recommends eating wheat germ instead of taking Centrum Cardio, referencing a study in which men who consumed more multivitamins have a higher chance of getting prostate cancer. Then, on page 42, the magazine recommends taking "a daily multivitamin, like Centrum," because beta-carotene was found to be beneficial for brain health.

The other thing that bugs me is that these magazines are really just large ads. I can handle it when the magazine includes advertisements on every other page or even when they subtly place the ad for running shoes following an article on running. What I fuckin' hate is when every article recommends a product and gives the price and how you can order it.

For example, there is a one page pseudo-article on triathlons that was basically a plug for three really expensive, unnecessary items (pricey swim/run unitard, bike, and shoes). The thing that bugs me is that this is supposed to be a health magazine, not a pricey gadget magazine. WTF do I need to drop circa two grand to do a triathlon? If the point is being healthy, my 10 year old swimsuit, 7 year old mountain bike, and 5 year old sneakers should suffice. Unless you actually have a shot at winning, you don't need all that gear.

Obviously, not all magazines are as bad as this, but I think it's often hard to find the good ones. Stay away from this smut. All filler, no killer.

HCC: Fairweather Gymgoers

So I was hulkin it out at the gym today as I have been for the past couple of weeks and I realized that Monday is the day to go to the gym if you're a twat. Looking back, there are probably 3 or 4 times the number of people working out on a Monday as there are on a Friday (all things equal). If you want to envision the graph, just think of my penis after viewing kids in a sandbox (NSFW).

And I'm not just talking about the people playing basketball or whatever. I've been going long enough to recognize/give nicknames to several of my workout buddies. There are a couple dudes that are in there MWF rain or shine. These are the decent folk, the modest folk; these are the people who will let you work in a set and who perform their lifts with exquisite form.

But there are also those people who only come Mondays (unless they go Sunday, when God and the Hulk rest... the Shell, however, is closed on the weekend). I don't have a name for these people, other than the endless strings of profanity that I use to refer to most people. These are the twats that show up on Monday to grab the 80lb DBs and, in a style that is similar to both a vertical seizure and a bicep curl, throw the DB to their chest. These are the assholes that stand in front of everything at the exact time I need it, forcing me to physically lift them up and move them, thus expending more energy than I had wanted. These are the CLTMs who sit on the benches, hoarding all the equipment while they shoot up HGH and pop Dexotrim while flexing their biceps and making courting-like bird dances to the females, thus forcing me to do my benchpress on the floor, using the Asian kid with the 45s as a weight. I think he's ok with it, but I can't actually understand him.

I suppose things could be worse. They could come on Wed and Fri too. Or I could be going to the SERF. Or that Asian kid could not be there for me to use for bp.

HCC: Carpet Baggers on State Street

Why is it that whenever I have to go make a purchase on State Street, there are always a bunch of dumb out-of-towners getting in my way?

Look, I realize that State Street is shopping district and that I should expect to see other people while I'm out. That's not my complaint. My complaint is that they're always in my fucking way. If I'm walking briskly down the street, they'll be waddling 5 abreast right in front of me. If I'm trying to enter a store (ok... the Gyro place), they'll be slowly filtering out... and making me hold the door! If I'm trying to purchase an item or move about a store, they will stand in my fucking way until I threaten their stupid, ugly fucking stroller-bound children with bodily harm.

Listen, if you would have just gotten out of my fucking way, you wouldn't have had to waste everyones time with the goddamn cops. Fuckoffs.

HHC: Unacceptable Bathroom Etiquette

Once again I find myself complaining about bathroom etiquette... what the hell is wrong with people?

Humming or singing while you shit is never acceptable. It shouldn't even be acceptable when you're on your own, much less in a public restroom. I kid you not, I walked into the Wendt bathroom and someone was totally humming and singing. Luckily, he avoided further awkwardness by leaving without so much as a courtesy-rinse, ensuring I would not have to make eye-contact.

Come on. That's just silly.

HHC: MadCity Cops

So I wasn't at Mifflin... I was at a wedding in the FDL. But I read an article that pissed me off.

There were ~6000 people and the cops made 438 arrests (most were "not serious" and alcohol related). That's about a 7.3% arrest/citation rate.

This just provides more evidence that Madison cops are only effective at dishing out drinking and public urination tickets and are completely incompetent when it comes to prevent murder, rape, or assaults on pharmacists.

These cops couldn't catch a fish if their lives depended on it... unless of course they were using dynamite on fish in a barrel. I'm glad I don't pay property tax to these morons.

HCC: WiscMail is Back

As soon as I posted about WiscMail, it went back on. I fuckin hate that.

HCC: Fuckin WiscMail

WiscMail has been down for too long. I hate that.

HCC: Inappropriate Bathroom Etiquette

So I've decided to start a new series. I call it Hulk's Complaint Corner.

In this first edition, I'd like to talk about something that has alway pissed me off and that I've had recent experience with.

So I was taking a crap in HCW, 3rd Floor. I thought there wouldn't be anyone around, so it would be pleasant. While I was on my porcelain thrown, an unpleasant individual walked in and sat down in the stall next to mine.

This sort of behavior irritates me to no end. Obviously, if there is already someone in a stall, you should choose a different bathroom to take care of your business in. Any decent person would immediately vacate the premises, or at least pretend to urinate and then leave. Yet this person sat down and began what can only be described as something very unpleasant. With no alternative, I put my iPod on and finished my business to the lovely music of The Pogues. My experience, however, was ruined.

I know many of you have experience with this sort of uncomfortableness, so I implore you to share perspectives and tactics.

Yours in brotherhood,
teh hulkxors