Last Hurrah

I am unfortunately travelling again. The unfortunate part is not that I'm travelling, but that travel takes me to Saginaw, MI. I wasn't sure where exactly I was, so I thought I'd map it.


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Since I've been gone a lot, my life partner and I had a going away bash last night. OK, it wasn't really a bash, but it involved some of my favorite things, including a going-away party (that wasn't for me).

We started with a lovely single malt scotch tasting at Barrique's. We frequent the wine tastings often, but this was the first time I had been to their scotch tasting. It was fantastic, but it pushed me to the limits of my capabilities. I had to stop and look at my WWDDD cuff links once or twice near the end (there were 8 total, each about a shot). My life partner doesn't like scotch and opted for a glass of wine instead. I came away with a good buzz and shopping list for later.

We had 8:00 reservations at Johnny Delmonico's. I had never been, but felt at ease the moment the coat check girl took our coats and provided us with a ticket. Our waiter was wildly attentive and the water guy was able to keep up with my scotch-induced thirst - I was actually really impressed, I think I consumed two gallons of water over the course of dinner. Like JC, I also had a going problem.

We started with a fantastic dish of bacon wrapped scallops. They combined two of my favorite things, bacon and things wrapped in bacon. My life partner ordered the chicken and pasta soup and the Scottish Salmon. I chided the soup choice, but it actually turned out to be quite delightful. I chose the 14 oz New York Strip, medium rare, and a baked potato. Naturally, I needed a change from all the scotch, so I ordered a Woodford Manhattan (a Grey Goose Dirty Martini for the Missus).

We followed up dinner with a seasonally appropriate Apple Crisp before leaving for the penthouse rooftop dessert soiree. The soiree was actually a going-away bash for a friend of a friend, but it was dessert themed. We sipped cider and snacked on truffles before making our exit.

I only recall this to help get through my hotel room dinner of Lean Cuisine Chicken Fried Rice and Campbell's Chunky Soup. I can't wait for Wednesday.

Arizona: Eatin' Steaks, Drinkin' Scotch, and Stompin' Hippies - Part 2

Sunday
I woke up to my phone ringing to the beat of the pounding in my head. "We're going to Sedona, you should come." Sure, sounds like a great cure for a hangover - a two hour drive through winding mountain roads. I puked for good measure before leaving the hotel and slept off the worst of it on the drive.

Sedona is internationally recognized as the New Age capital of the world. What does that mean? A lot of fucking hippies with crystals and chakras and incense. My friend is apparently into that shit, because she got her Aura read. Needless to say, it was a challenging day. Other than the hippies, Sedona is pretty much just a tourist trap, not unlike the Dell's. One long strip of shops set with a gorgeous mountain backdrop. The girls were content shopping, I was content sitting outside looking at the mountains.

Dinner at Chipoltle. To make it more interesting I took the Mustang out for a spin and cranked Phoenix's equivalent of the Z. Bumpin.

Monday
Work 7-2, not too shabby. Some work back at the hotel accompanied by some Mad Men. No one was interested in dinner, so I flew solo. Ruth's Chris Steak House bugs the shit out of me. Ruth's Chris? What the hell does that mean. Honestly, I had never gone solely because of that retarded name. Any way, Macallan 12 yr and a filet mignon as thick as my hair. A fellow frequent flier was next to me at the bar watching the Packer game. When he heard that I pay for my own booze he offered to buy my next one, but I had a 6:00am flight, so I headed off to bed.

Tuesday
Write off for travel. Burger at Brasserie V. Good, but somewhat of a let down after 3 nights of fantastic steak.

Hey Phoenix - not too shabby. Thanks for the steak. I'd give it 4 out of 5.

Arizona: Eatin' Steaks, Drinkin' Scotch, and Stompin' Hippies - Part 1

Phoenix, like Las Vegas and Dubai, is a city that wasn't meant to be. I think it becomes easier to see when you fly in to PHX. The Grand Canyon is God's line in the sand from when he said, "Come on, live here, I dare ya". I worked most of the flight, but when I ran out of stuff to do, I popped in Mad Men. That may or may not have influenced a lot of my later behavior.

Wednesday

Phoenix is well laid out. Leaving the airport is really not that difficult, especially if you have some idea of where you're headed. It's also easy to see where you're going because there are few buildings taller than two stories. I had reservations at the Courtyard off Camelback, nothing to write home about, but a decent place with a pool. The group I was traveling with decided on Cheesecake Factory. I think the high altitude had affected my testicles because I ordered a salad and didn't get dessert. Don't worry friend, I made up for it later.

Thursday

Up at 3:45 (AM) and worked until 2:00 (PM). I had more work back at the hotel, but at 6 I met up with two of the guys I was traveling with and we went to Houston's for dinner. Steak (1) and Woodford Reserve on the rocks. Best steak I'd had in a long time. We walked to Cheesecake Factory for dessert and a Maker's Mark. Good night.

Friday

Fortunately, I only worked 6 to 2, much better. Dinner sucked. Aho Al's for Mexican - everyone kept going on about the Mexican. It tasted just like fucking Pedro's. I would have rather gone to Laredo's. What the hell - plus, no scotch or steak. Then a lovely evening with Don Draper and the boys.

Saturday

I had the weekend off, but I had pretty much resigned myself to sitting in my room all day and watching TV. At about 11, I felt pathetic and went down to get some coffee. One of the girls I started with was in the lobby doing work. We entertained the idea of going to Sedona, but had some work, so we put Sedona off.

After a short stint of working, we decided to hit the pool. We ran into a couple other people and I decided it would be a good idea to start drinking - don't worry, it was past noon. Trader Joe's was just around the corner, so we went. I got a personal sixer of AZ brews and the girls got wine. We spent the afternoon drinking in the pool. I learned that being resourceful is a very important trait for the business traveler. You can find almost everything you need for a delightful day of drinking in your hotel. I got a bottle opener from the front desk, ice bucket for my beer from the room, and a mini fridge to store leftovers (hah!).

I had finished my six pack when we learned of a group going to Morton's for dinner. I was very much into the idea of more steak after the terrible Mexican experience. I owned Morton's. Start with a beautiful 15 yr Laphroaig, neat, and a french onion soup followed by a Woodford Reserve Manhattan and a perfect 22oz NY strip for dinner. Best steak I'd had in a couple days. Coffee and an Old Fashioned for dessert at the bar with a friend. We A-Steaked at a trendy bar nearby with another Manhattan. At this point, I think I had spent $100 on booze for the day, I felt pretty good.

Back to the hotel for a midnight dip in the hot tub and some vodka drinks with the girls (who had not joined at the bar). After that, I thought it'd be a good idea to go to a bar and things got a little sloppy after that.

We Goin Sizzla'

It's hard work making you look so bad. Anyone in for a basketball game this Saturday? Sunny skies, 50 degrees. Lets at least get some 2 on 2 going or something. We can't play during the badger game against Mich St. of course but sometime during the day. Who's in?

Teh Watchmen

Anybody wanna see this on Saturday? It is probably the most badass story ever. P.S. I can drive.

Joydick

Yeah, NSFW.

Hey Joe

Look.

I ♥ my job.

I received a meeting request today. Sam, this is probably for you.

Subject: Mustache Contest

When: Thursday, January 29, 2009 5:30 PM-6:00 PM (GMT-06:00) Central Time (US & Canada).
Where: Conference Room

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In case you haven’t heard… and yes you read that correctly.

I thought it would be fun to have a just-for-fun charity event this winter because after all, what else is there to do in the winter. For those of you interested, we are going to have the kickoff meeting for the Mustache Contest. Both men and women are invited to attend the event, after all we will need a panel of judges there too.

Prizes:
The overall best mustache­ will take home $25 (or a max of 25%) of the money raised.
The remaining 75% will go to support a charity of the groups choosing, or variety of charities depending on a group vote.

Why? To raise money for a charity to be designated at the kickoff… and to annoy your girlfriend, wife, or whatever all in the name of a good cause.
When? January 29th at 5:30 PM
Where? Conference Room
Who? Anyone you want to invite
Cost? A measly $10 clams

At the end of the contest, which will most likely be a month from the start date, mustaches will be judged on a variety of factors (factors to be determined at the meeting) by qualified mustache judges (what those qualifications are will be determined at the meeting).

Rules:
You must be clean shaven at the start of the contest. We will provide a Bic razor and shaving cream at the kickoff to ensure fairness.
No growing beards, goatees, fu-manchus, etc… Only mustache hair will be allowed on your face during the duration of the event.

If you can’t make it to the meeting, just send me a time stamped photo of you with a clean shaven stache’ along with your entry fee.

Awards for:
Most unusually shaped mustache
Most colorful mustache
Ugliest mustache
Worst mustache
Other?

If you’d like to help with the administration of the contest just let me know.

For some inspiration, visit the Mustache Hall of Fame

I'm on board

One time I saw Buskus eat 18 of these and wash it down with an above-ground swimming pool full of propel.  

Happy Holidays Everybody

Continuing to come to you first with all things cookie and/or phallus: Ewwww, gross (NSFW).

And who won the caption contest?

grenyarnia has good infomercials

for jc, sammy (...fatass), and me:



it won't make your shit the size of your forearm or send you creepy emails and text messages when you stop working out, but it might make you look more like teh hulk (ca 2000-01).

I love my job.

Shepard's Pie


A Sexy Chili Cheese Dog


Oh, right... I give them 10.7 Footballs out of 10.7.

I'M BUGGIN OUT

BAHHHHHH HALLOWEEEEEN AAAHAHARRGGHGHHHHH BOOOOOOOZZZZEEEEEEE.
Dance Party Friday + Halloween + Caption Contest = least coherent post ever.

Also, check out my office:

I really like it, I'm listening to Bob Marley right now.

I've always felt that I would be more productive if I had me standing over my shoulder:

Christie vs. Paul

I miss you Sam.

My Dream Job

I know it's old and most of you probably won't find it that funny. Just picture me doing running at you in your place of business, but yelling "football" or "get some". I can't help but lol.

Little League World Series

One of my favorite things about this time of year is that the Little League World Series gets air time on whatever station has nothing better to run.

I'm not a fan of baseball, per se, but there's nothing I like more than watching a bunch of fat little hicks take themselves too seriously, only to end up crying like ten year old girls when they lose. I would have liked to have a video clip (because it really brightened my day), but I didn't feel like looking for one.