Kings of the World

Check this out:

http://host.madison.com/wsj/news/local/education/article_c900c7fe-c326-11de-b7ed-001cc4c002e0.html

Now read between the lines:

For the purposes of full disclosure, Obama is coming to my city to visit Madison's king. That's right, he called me and asked if I would be available to discuss my scathing critique of Teach For America and other heated issues facing education, film, music, and television today. I look forward to sharing Bud Light and then taking him on a afternoon game of hoops.

recent findings in a gentrified neighborhood

Observation:

The Echo Tap is a public house located near the Badger Bus depot. There is a bench near the front entrance which is frequently populated by the homeless/the homeless-looking. The bar seems to thrive during all hours - including the late morning. There are a large number of middle aged persons stumbling in, out, and near the establishment.

Hypothesis:

Based on the outward appearance of the public house, it can be inferred that the place is sketchy as fuck and is probably best avoided.

Experiment:

Two subjects, Slider (Subject A.qW) and j.patrick (Subject 42), consumed two alcoholic beverages at the dwelling of Subject 42. After consumption, the subjects walked approximately 40 paces to the site of the experiment.

Upon entering, subjects requested an alcoholic beverage from a bar tend. The subjects explored the area and discovered a pool table and dart boards on the second floor of the establishment. During the two hour experiment, the subjects played several games of pool and purchased additional beverages.

Discussion:

The interior was much different than what the exterior appearance would dictate. During the experiment, the subjects were adequately entertained and intoxicated.

Conclusion:

The hypothesis fails. The Echo Tap is the new Old Fashioned.

We Goin Sizzla'

It's hard work making you look so bad. Anyone in for a basketball game this Saturday? Sunny skies, 50 degrees. Lets at least get some 2 on 2 going or something. We can't play during the badger game against Mich St. of course but sometime during the day. Who's in?

Friday Night Fun

If anyone would like to get drunk with me tomorrow night, I'm planning on celebrating the fact that I am now 1/3 of the way to the venerable and ironic age of 69. Ironic? Yes, because when you're that old, no one's gonna want to do it with you.

Crawford County, Don't Let Me Explode

After a somewhat disappointing fireworks display at the Black Hawk golf course, my life partner and I decided we needed a little R&R and some kickass fireworks. So yesterday, we got in our car and drove to my family's cabin in Prairie du Chien.

The PDC is a pretty quiet river town about five minutes from Iowa, about two hours west of Madison. On our way through town, my inner 12 year old perked up, and we bought some big sexy fireworks. By the way, I now have a Class C license, so if you need me to set off some manly fireworks, gimme a call.
We didn't stay long in the PDC, just long enough to go for a kayak, get some beer, and blow up fifty bucks. When the beer, fireworks, and part of my thumb were gone, I got a little restless.

So my life partner and I jumped in the car. Only this time, I took the wheel. Oh that's right, j.patrick finally learned to drive stick this weekend. A little reverse practice, some hill stops and starts, and practice getting it into 4th in under ten seconds. My life partner endured many sloppy gear changes, but holy crap it was fun.

I drove home from the PDC and only killed it once. Not bad for my first rural highway driving I'd say. All in all, a highly productive weekend, thanks Crawford County.

What Made Milwaukee Famous

In true TBR fashion, I'd like to quickly welcome our readers from Milwaukee. Don't think I haven't noticed you... my eyes are everywhere. Just kidding. But seriously, Google Analytic's eyes are. Anyway, to help welcome Milwaukee, let's take a closer look at Beer City.



Some may wonder, "isn't Milwaukee basically a larger, more industrial version of Madison's dreaded East Side?" No. That's just incentive. How dare you compare the birthplace of Schlitz, Blatz, Pabst, and Miller to the home of Oscar Meyer. Not that the East Side doesn't have something to offer, but it's all within walking distance of the Square.

Was it the beer that made Milwaukee famous? Yes, yes it was. When you ask someone about Milwaukee, they probably won't acknowledge the city's Black Holocaust museum, Zoo, or Arena Football Team. They'll mention beer and maybe obesity, crime, and Summerfest. Old folks might harken back to Laverne and Shirley or Happy Days.



Eehhhhh.

"Woawoawoa whoa" The Buskus might proclaim, "what about the Bucks and Brewers." Sorry Buskus, I'd gladly trade both teams for a magnum of Schlitz, Blatz, or PBR. I've never been much of a Miller guy.



So friends, the next time you're consuming, think of our friends in Milwaukee and rejoice.

Ozaukee County Didn't Seem Tired Last Night

I spent most of yesterday celebrating the union of man and woman out in Ozaukee County. Let me just say, Ozaukee County, I drink to you. It was quite possibly the most interesting wedding I have ever been to.

I had heard that the bride and groom were fairly religious and that having the ceremony in the Lutheran church was a pretty big deal. I was not prepared, however, for the incredibly conservative/traditional ceremony that followed. The pastor made a point of telling the woman that she has to be submissive and obedient and that the man is the spiritual leader, etc. This sort of religiously-sponsored patriocentricity makes the Hulk angry.

The reception was held at what I can only assume is Ozaukee County's version of the Essen Haus. It was a fuck of a lot cooler though. The thing that threw me off about this wedding and made it so interesting is that, for all the religiosity that I heard (I conversed with some evangelical types during dinner), there was a shit-ton of booze consuming. The wedding day quickly turned from an old-fashioned church ceremony to a German shitshow. It was fucking sweet.

The best man started it off with a roast of his younger brother. This was followed closely by the singing and drinking to the Schnitzelbank song. This is basically what happened:



I can't do the scene justice or explain this song properly, it's just a German song that incorporated drinking, costumes, footstamping, and shenanigans. After that, the dance broke out.

Even though I didn't get converted last night, I had to admit that the band was pretty tight. I had a bit too much fun. I lost my voice and can't talk today. OC, thanks for the good time, I fuckin owe you.

Shout Out to the Crick

So, I've probably been spending more time on Google Analytics than is good for me... it certainly is an addiction... but I came across an interesting statistic. Apparently there are several views of TBR from Johnson Creek.

At first, I thought that perhaps my life partner had been viewing TBR from the site of an clerkship. However, upon confronting my life partner, I learned that I was mistaken, as my life partner has not viewed TBR in quite some time. This confounded my befuddlement, but I plan to continue operations under the assumption that there may be some readership base from Johnson Creek.

I would like to take a moment officially welcome our JC readers and share some of their culture with our Madison-based readership.

Johnson Creek, lovingly referred to as "The Crick" by its citizens, is located in beautiful, historic south-central Wisconsin. It has been called "The Crossroads With a Future" due to its location at the intersection of Interstate 94 and State Highway 26. Johnson Creek offers a plethora of ammenities to locals and out-of-towners alike, including the UW Cancer Center and an outlet mall. The population is predominantly white (95% in 2000) and has a male-benefitting ratio of 100 females to 97 males (probably as a result of its proximity to an outlet mall).

If you like cancer, shopping, and women, the Crick is the place to be!

For further information on our brethren in Jefferson County, you can check out the Village of Johnson Creek Website.