Monday, February 2, 2009

JC Live Blogs "The City: The Truth Hurts"

10:01PM: The girls are going to a birthday party for Whitney's old boss!
10:03PM: Erin is looking for a job. She's been soul searching for about a year and a half! SHE'S OCD TO A FULL! (JC thinks she's kinda cute, despite her full OCDness)
10:04PM: OMG She got the job!
10:05PM: This party looks bumpin'! Oh wow. Allie seems too skinny according to Kelly, Whitney's old boss.
10:07PM: Guy drama.
10:08PM: Kelly keeps pushing the skinny thing. Allie is upset. JC interjects: What's wrong with being skinny? She's pretty ugly, so it's a good thing that she's skinny. Ugly fat chicks are the worst. I can't tell how smart she is, but if she's smart and skinny, we got a winner. I'll just have to brown bag her fug-ass face.
10:10PM: We're at a commercial break now, but I just wanted to say that Clive Owen is awesome. I'm totally seeing The International. And Duplicity for that matter.
10:13PM: DID ERIN HOOK UP?! Looks like it. I don't know if I approve of this dude. I bet I could take him.
10:14PM: Whitney's apartment is bomb. Like, hella bomb.
10:15PM: Maybe Allie should dump her diet of coffee, cigarettes, and cum (the three C's) if she wants to put on weight.
10:16PM: Oooooh! I love this song! I retract my statement about Erin being cute. She looked alright in the club, though. She's liking New York. Wow, she used the word hiatus! Her coworker is sooooooo gay.
10:17PM: Adam and Allie make a cute couple. Her skinny ass should watch the booze, though. KELLY AND ALLIE MEET AGAIN. Dun, dun, dunnnnn.
10:19PM: Bitching about bitches. Quote of the night "The best part about going to parties with models is that nobody eats." Word.
10:21PM: Commercial break again. Damn, I want T Bell.
10:24PM: Tehehehehe, they work in the meatpacking district. Whitney is getting philosophical about body image. It's modeling, honey. Bitches need to be skinny.
10:25PM: These idiots cannot take insults. You were called too skinny. BooHoo. That's the easiest problem in the world to solve. EAT SOME JBCBs AND SOME DOUBLE STACKS, YOU CUNT!
10:27PM: Kelly is so not sorry about insulting Allie. She is beyond the industry standard of thin. Yikes. The modeling industry has got its priorities all wrong. Nobody wants to see anything jiggling when those bitches walk down a runway. Well, boobs jiggling would be OK. But not like all over the place. Healthy jiggle.
10:28PM: That's a wrap!

I feel like I should reflect on what I've learned in this episode. How skinny is too skinny? Has society put an unfair expectation on its women? What about the men of the world? Well, let me tell you, there's only one reason a man needs to lose weight: to make his dick look bigger. Ladies: just not too fat, OK? I mean, let's get serious. Classy fat doesn't apply to women.

Be sure to check out The City on MTV Mondays at 9PM. And 10PM apparently.

3 comments:

Buster said...

I loved the play by play diary, however, am I the only one who spends his time watching GOOD TV?

Jeremy said...

I think I will just live blog shows that have the most potential for comedy, but are trying to be serious. So, pretty much any show on MTV claiming to be a reality show.

Buster said...

I hate you guys. I'm going home.