District 9 at the Local Cineplex

Now that I live in my parents basement and schools have as of yet not called me to babysit, I have a lot of free time on my hands. One of the best perks of unemployment is the tremendous amount of free time on my hands. I can surf porn, read tv blogs, catch the lastest podcast, work on my physical figure, peruse poetry, download all the hippest bands, write screenplays, and visit the local cineplex whenever I want. Unemployment really is a beautiful thing if you use your time right!

Now, after several friends and blood relatives equated viewing the new science fiction documentary-like suspense thriller District 9 as some sort of transcendental experience worthy of masterpieces like The Wire and Robocop, I became filled with enthusiasm and excitement. I thought maybe after making all those boring ass LOTR movies and that ridiculously awful Tenacious D rendition of King Kong, Peter Jackson finally stopped making movies to pay the bills and put his efforts into a "personal" dream project that he would care about and culture like somebody with artistic integrity.

First off, I learned at about 4 pm walking out of the theatre that Peter Jackson didn't even direct the fucking thing, simply lended his name on a producer credit. Instead, some hack named Neill Blomkamp directed it. The most notable credential he has on his profile is lead 3d animator on the Kurt Russell gem 3000 Miles to Graceland. Seriously, are you kidding me? Thanks Peter Jackson for giving the keys to a guy that has to include his directoral effort Best Ads Ever 2 as a triumph of his career. Also, thanks to the studio for marketing this picture as a Peter Jackson film. Not that I would ever watch another movie from that fatass after LOTR and King Kong. Apparently he's making The Hobbit now. What a hack. Peter Jackson has officially admitted the fact that he has absolutely no creativity by living off the ideas of JRR Tolkien and whoever the dudes were that created King Kong. I can just picture himself eating Dairy Queen while rolling around naked in pile of 100 dollar bills.

I just want to say District 9 was the the most overated movie of the year so far. I don't think it reaches the heights of the cliche ridden love unites all social classes shit flick Slumdog Millionaire but its close. I wanted everyone to die in the fucking thing. The movie relies on the premise of humanzing unhygienic, disgusting mouth breathing retarded aliens. It has too many plotholes and the 2nd half is just one big cliche-ridden action movie. I'm convinced Blomkamp spent his time playing Mech Warrior 3 while the studio came calling for a script so he had to steal from the game in hopes nobody would notice. I noticed Neill -- you need to get some better drugs. Also, I felt like puking 20-30 minutes into it due to either putting too much butter on my popcorn or staring at those repulsive creatures on screen.

Overall, I'd give the movie a C. I did enjoy the documentary style and the early excitment the first 15 minutes of the film delivered but I would love to argue with you over a case of blatz if you thought this movie delivered the transcendental experience Peter Jackson promised.