i have a huge twat

hey stags, wanna keep up to date on the life of your favorite TOI? now you can, because, like most other douchebags in the world, I now have a twat. Now you can access my inane ramblings and latest bowel movement updates in real time.

i don't want to go on the record here, but i think twitter might just be the greatest argument against democracy.

follow my poops! - http://twitter.com/HulksyTwat

The Power of Dance

Here's a video that Dejen sent me. This is what I aspire to.

ilovehatecommercialz

welcome to my new section, "ilovehatecommericalz" where I will begin to share some of my favorite television commercials.

first up: The semi-new minute maid spot I've nicknamed "Spring Break 99." I like this ad for two reasons, first because the same situation actually happened to me at the mall last weekend. This one girl came up to me out of nowhere in the Women's deodorant section in JC Penney and was like, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Luckily I had just chugged a bottle of minute maid boost juice and absolut, which gave me the acuity I needed to yell "slut" super loud, and run out into the parking lot. I was pretty sure I had fathered her child.

Also, if you pause the video at the one second mark while he is turning his head, you'll notice how abnormally large his chin is.

Myriad Dancing Dads

Too hard to pick just one, so here are some bonus linxxx:

One, two, three. Happy Fathers Day.

One to close the season out.

CBC's Stanley Cup Finals Game 1 Intro montage video. 3 minutes. Pretty amazing video, even the use of the Coldplay song didn't irritate me. NBC didn't even bother doing anything like this. At this point, they should just broadcast the CBC feed in the US. Their coverage is far superior and it would probably save NBC money.

Pens Win!

Ordinary fucking people . . .

Inappropriate-Relationship-With-Your Dad Dancing

Or "Scouring-Pad Dad Dancing." BECAUSE THEY'RE IN THE KITCHEN, FOLKS.

justin townes earle live at high noon

@high noon

Magic

Glad Dad Dancing

Gross.

back in business

pretty NSFW. Click here!

Set the tone for game 3

This is why the NHL is better than the NBA. Red Wings best be ready to go for game 3.